


I've Got a Long List of Starbucks Lovers

by Kiti_the_Warrior_Poet



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Demisexual Derek Hale, Derek Hale/Scott McCall but not really, M/M, Misunderstandings, Temporary body swap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:16:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20525606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiti_the_Warrior_Poet/pseuds/Kiti_the_Warrior_Poet
Summary: Why can nothing in Stiles' life be easy? He was supposed to be living his best life, co-owning his dream coffee shop with his best friend, but apparently fate has other ideas.A.K.A.Derek doesn't know why he ever opens his mouth around Erica before he has consumed all of his morning caffeine, he always ends up telling her things he doesn't mean to.A.K.A.A Sterek fake exes au inspired by the prompt: ‘I didn’t want to tell my friend who my real date last night was so I just pointed at a random stranger (you) but now they’re storming over to interrogate you and you’re playing along??? okay’





	I've Got a Long List of Starbucks Lovers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [novemberhush](https://archiveofourown.org/users/novemberhush/gifts).

> This is the longest thing I've written in a very long time. I'm still trying to get back into the swing of things as far as writing goes so this might be a bit rough, but it was written with lots of love! This fic was written for novemberhush who sent me the prompt from a list of fake exes au prompts over on Tumblr.

This whole day was shaping up to be a disaster. Derek hadn’t even meant to let slip that he was supposed to have gone on a date last night. He especially hadn’t meant to let slip that he’d spent the last three weeks trying to work up the courage to ask the barista on a date only for them to stand him up last night. The worst of it though, worse even than being stood up by the charming barista whom Derek had thought he’d had a genuine connection with, is the fact that he unthinkingly let all of this slip to Erica. Erica who is a terror to deal with on a good day if you get on her bad side, who also happens to be heavily pregnant and has been having what she dubbed ‘the week from hell’. Derek is distracted enough by mounting horror at his own slip-up that it’s practically on autopilot that he finds himself nodding when Erica asks if his supposed ‘date’ is at work this morning, here at the coffee shop that Derek himself had insisted on meeting Erica at this morning before he let her drag him all over town to help gather last minute baby supplies while Boyd was at work.

“Who is it?” There’s a sharpness in her tone and a fire in her eyes that would have lesser men cowering in a corner pissing themselves. As it is, Derek is feeling a bit of that urge to cower himself but he simply shakes his head. The fight visibly deflates from Erica as she reaches across the small table to place a hand on one of Derek’s. “Just tell me who it was, please?” Still wary, yet feeling his resolve actively crumbling away under Erica’s concerned gaze, Derek finds himself turning toward the counter scanning for that familiar crooked jaw. When Derek finally spots Scott he is talking with an overly animated fellow employee that Derek has never noticed before, and before he can think twice about it Derek points. “Him. The flailing one.” Erica is across the coffee shop faster than any eight month pregnant woman should be capable of.

* * *

A hastily whispered, “Angry pregnant lady incoming,” from Liam is all the warning that they get before a booming demand of “YOU!” fills the air. Scott looks like he’s going to pass out, and well it’s not like this situation is entirely one hundred percent his fault, no it’s more like this situation is entirely one hundred and ten percent Stiles’ own fault. Stiles is a fierce protector though, So he instructs Scott to go count inventory in the back while he tries to de-escalate the situation before the entire coffee shop becomes invested in the soap opera that is his life. Scott doesn’t even spare him a second glance before he metaphorically runs for the hills, the traitor. Steeling himself for a verbal smackdown that will probably give Lydia a run for her money Stiles plasters on his best customer service smile before stepping up to the counter with a pleasant, “How may I help you?”

* * *

Derek let’s out the breath that he hadn’t even been aware of holding when he sees Scott escape into the backroom. Then all of a sudden he is overcome with fear for his own life because he can see Erica talking to the man he had pointed at and the guy, Stiles he hears Erica say, is staring straight at him with an expression that Derek can’t quite parse. “I didn’t mean to stand him up,” Derek can hear Stiles saying, “it’s just that I was so nervous that I actually made myself physically ill last night and…” Derek stops listening at that point deciding to go intervene. He never thought the guy would actually go along with it but now that he has, no doubt in an attempt to spare Scott from Erica’s palpable wrath, Derek can’t just sit here and watch Erica go off on this poor innocent bystander. Especially because she’ll most likely take any blips in his heart beat as indicating lies that he’s making up for why he stood Derek up and not for the fact that Stiles is lying because he isn’t actually the one that Derek was supposed to meet for dinner last night.

* * *

Stiles is grateful beyond words that Scott is an overprotective paranoid Alpha who insists that the entire pack wear the bracelets that Stiles charmed for each of them at all times. Mostly because it means that what is undoubtedly one of the gorgeous Alpha Hale’s betas, who is currently interrogating him for standing up said Alpha last night, thinks that he is one hundred percent human. And Stiles is one hundred percent sure that that is the only reason he is still alive. Stiles can’t believe Scott let it get this far, then again Scott probably didn’t think about the possibility of there being a pregnant homicidal beta in Derek’s pack, but still it’s the principal of the thing. Stiles had told Scott about the small crush that he was developing on the Hale Alpha in confidence and, you know, warning incase the flirting had been as mutual as he had imagined it to be.

Sure, when he had gone running after Scott as he was clearly running head first into a trap to save Liam from that coven last month Stiles had thought that might end up being the reason for his death. But when the coven leader just cast a body switching spell that landed him in the temporary role of alpha Stiles thought that his life was once again safe. After all, what was the worst that could go wrong? Apparently the answer to that was that Stiles could meet the love of his life while stuck in Scotts body and then end up being murdered by a pregnant beta as a result.

* * *

Derek allows himself to tune back into the conversation as he places a firm hand on Erica’s shoulder and one on her elbow for good measure but he’s got to be miss hearing what Stiles is saying. “Look, the truth is that Derek is a great guy and I’ve had a bit of a crush on him since the first day he walked into my shop wearing a ridiculously tight Superman t-shirt that looked like it had been painted on his body and then actually laughing when I made a quip about being willing to be the Batman to his Superman.” It doesn’t make any sense, Stiles’ heart isn’t skipping any beats, sure his heart rate may be a little elevated, whose wouldn’t be when faced with Erica’s rage. Still, despite the fact that conversation that Stiles just described had taken place between Derek and _ Scott _ and the fact that Derek hasn’t even seen him before today, Stiles _ isn’t lying _. “I was just about to ask him out about two weeks in when some stuff with my buddy Scotty came up that kept me from doing so, and then I ended up telling him all about Derek. And well…” Stiles’ voice trails off just as Derek senses a shift in the atmosphere which is followed by Scott appearing just out of sight of most of the coffee shop’s patrons while still visible to Erica and Derek, red alpha eyes shining out of the slight darkness.

Scott’s eyes fade back to their normal brown before he steps out of the back room to announce, “I’m sorry everyone, but I have a family emergency and we’re going to have to close the shop up early today. We can get to-go cups and containers for anyone who needs them. Sorry for any inconvenience.” Before adding in a voice just loud enough for werewolf ears to hear, “Alpha Hale, if you and your beta could stick around Stiles and I would like the opportunity to introduce ourselves properly.”

* * *

As soon as Stiles has locked the door behind the last of the customers he hears Derek ask, “You’re werewolves?” When Stiles turns to look at Derek he can see him searching Scott’s face like it should hold all the answers to the world. Moving into position to Scott’s right Stiles shakes his head. “My name is Stiles Stilinski, Emissary to the McCall Pack. This is Scott McCall, Alpha of the McCall Pack. The McCall Pack own and operate this coffee shop. That first morning that you came into the shop Alpha Hale…” “Please just call me Derek. I don’t know why, because I’ve never seen you before today, but I feel like I know you.” “Well, Derek,” Stiles continues, “the reason that you feel like you know me is because you do.” Stiles puts up a hand to hold off any further interruptions. “The night before you first came into the shop one of Scott’s betas, Liam, was kidnapped by a coven of witches and Scott and I were hit with a body swap curse while we were rescuing him. So, while you saw Scott’s body and heard his voice that first day, it was actually me that you were talking to.”

* * *

“So what, you convinced Scott to stand me up last night because you had ‘dibs’ or something?” Derek barely contains a wince at the pain he can hear in his own voice. He can see all hope of future happiness with Scott slipping away because Scott is afraid to upset his emissary and it hurts, not that he isn’t used to pain when it comes to relationships. An indignant squawk breaks Derek out of his revere. “I would never! Scotty is my _ brother _ if he had feelings for you I would never try to keep him from having a relationship with you. Besides, he’s practically married to Kira anyways.”

* * *

Stiles can practically hear Derek’s heart breaking with the sharp inhale that come after his words leave his mouth, and “Shit! This is not going the right way. Derek,” Stiles freezes with his hand halfway to Derek’s arm, “it wasn’t just that first day. Scott and I, we were stuck like that for two weeks. By the time that we switched back I was so nervous about how to tell you that I let Scott talk me into just letting him pretend to be me when you came around. I just. It was only supposed to be for a day or two, long enough for me to get back on the schedule and let you meet the real me. But then I had to go out of town to see my dad and when I got back yesterday Scott told me that you had asked him out thinking he was me. I was, I was at the restaurant last night, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want you to think it was a prank or something.”

* * *

Suddenly that last week makes a whole lot more sense. Scott had seemed, well, a little _ off _ the last few days and Derek had just chalked it up to his own nerves over their upcoming date, but it turns out Scott hadn’t been acting oddly because Derek had asked him out. No Scott had been acting different because all of the amazing interactions, that deep connection that Derek could feel in his bones, hadn’t been with Scott at all. It had all been with Stiles. “I almost canceled the date. Something felt off. I didn’t feel as connected, but I convinced myself it was nerves.” Derek doesn’t give Stiles a chance to respond before he pulls him into a kiss. It starts out tentative Derek unsure of how Stiles will react, but Stiles quickly drives any worries out of Derek’s mind meeting the kiss with what feels to be the passion of a thousand burning suns.

* * *

“I’m Erica, by the way.” Erica extends her hand to the McCall Alpha and is met with a firm handshake. “So Scott, how do you feel about babies? Specifically shopping for things for babies, because my alpha was supposed to take me shopping today and do all of the heaving lifting for me, but something tells me he and your emissary are going to be busy for a while.” Erica would bet good money that Stiles and Derek don’t even notice them leave.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you think I missed any tags please let me know.


End file.
